Privilege to do what? I don’t see how anything in my life is the product of privilege. Or what this privilege means for me? Seriously I have no idea what this privilege is because I’ve never experienced it.
Can anyone tell me where or how people like me are privileged?
As a white person you have the privilege:
- to not worry about being victim of police brutality because of your race
- to not have to sit your child down and explain institutionalized racism to them so they will understand why people are so awful to them
- to be articulate and smart and not have people be shocked by that
- to dress and act in any ridiculous way you want without being called a “thug,” “gangster,” or “low-life”
- to not worry that your hair, skin color, or cultural accessories were the reason(s) you didn’t get a job
- to not worry about being hawk-eyed by store managers when you’re just trying to shop
- to not be labeled as a terrorist by the way you look
- to not be victim of cultural appropriation
- to not worry about being stopped and frisked for no reason other than the way you look
- to never be told to “just get over slavery” or “don’t make this about race”
- to find art supplies, makeup, band-aids, panty hose, and all kinds of products labeled “flesh” that are the color (or a similar one) to your skin tone
- to almost always be in the company of people of your race
- to turn on the tv or open a magazine and see people of your race widely and accurately represented
- to walk in a barber shop and know that someone there knows how to “deal” with your hair
- to never be asked to speak for everyone in your racial group (i.e., “Hey, you’re Black, what do you think?”)
- to almost always speak with someone of your race when you ask for a person in charge
- to be unaware of or to deny your privilege
As a cis person you have the privilege:
- to use public restrooms without fear of abuse, intimidation, or arrest
- to never have strangers ask you what your genitals look like and/or how you have sex
- to never have a stranger ask you if you’ve “had the surgery”
- to never have your validity as a gender measured by how well you “pass” as that gender
- to enter gender exclusive spaces without question
- to never have someone ask you what your “real name” is
- to flirt, date, and form relationships without worrying about telling someone that your gender may not match your genitals in the way your partner thinks they should or them finding out before you’re ready for them to know
- to receive emergency medical treatment without having to explain your biology
- to not have your gender identity considered a mental pathology
- to not be profiled as a sex worker
- to see other cis people broadly and accurately depicted in modern media as developed characters more than sob stories
- to not have your gender identity be the punchline of a joke
- to assume that everyone you meet will understand your identity
- to not have confusing situations correlated to your gender when someone checks your ID card
- to have your gender as an option on every form you ever fill out
- to go somewhere spontaneously knowing there will be proper bathrooms for you to use
- to never have to convince someone of your gender
- to have people automatically use the proper pronouns without you constantly correcting them
- to never have to look at old photos of yourself that do not depict who you really are
- to be sure that the person you are dating is not using you as a kink-satisfier because of your gender
- to be unaware of or to deny your privilege
As a male you have the privilege:
- to have higher odds of being hired for a job than a woman
- to not be accused of “sleeping to the top”
- to fail at something and know that it isn’t a tally mark against the capabilities of your entire sex
- to be less likely to experience sexual harassment than women
- to have a low chance of being raped if you don’t go to prison
- to have much less to fear when walking alone at night than women
- to decide not to have children and not have your masculinity questioned
- to be praised for being a morally superior parent if you take primary care of your children
- to focus more on your career than your children and not be accused of being selfish
- to have most elected representatives be of your sex
- to face someone of your sex when you ask for the person in charge
- to be encouraged to be outgoing and confident as a child, much more than a little girl
- to watch movies as a child that depict many and non-stereotyped members of your sex as heroes
- to be able to have a bad day and not be asked if you’re on your period (if you’re cis and people know it, which you are) or sex-deprived
- to be careless financially and have no one attribute that to your sex
- to sleep with a lot of people sexually and not be called names for it
- to wear what you want and not have your wardrobe possibly define for other people your sexual availability
- to have less expensive while also better quality clothing available to purchase
- to have a cheap, quick, and simple grooming regimen expected of you
- to have less of an issue in life as a conventionally unattractive male than an unattractive woman
- to be loud and aggressive without being called sexist names
- to have every day language be oriented to your sex (all men are created equal, mailman, mankind, fireman, etc.)
- to get married and not change your last name and have no one question you about it
- to have every major religion led by your sex
- to be automatically considered the head of the household by many people
- to most likely not be the one to make professional sacrifices to raise children
- to see ads all over that show objectified women hanging over people of your sex
- to have less of a chance of being beaten by a significant other if you are heterosexual
- to not be catcalled or have random males ask you to smile for them
- to not be interrupted by women as often as you interrupt them
- to be unaware of or to deny your privilege
Other people, feel free to add to these lists.
How do you guys define gender versus gender roles? How do you differentiate feminine and masculine?
I don’t think the two can really be separated. Gender roles create gender. Without gender roles there would be no way to put people into boxes aka genders.
But then how can we say the two are one and the same, fight for the destruction of gender roles, and be respectful of gender identity (especially that of trans individuals) at the same time? I think it must not be completely separate, because gender identity is a large spectrum which can develop contrary to ones assigned gender at birth and how you were socialized/raised. It can also exist outside of the male/female binary. But I have yet to figure out what gender really is and why people identify how they do. If sugar and spice and everything nice is not what I am made of, then what is, ya know?
Follow up: do you think gender identity would still exist if we lived in a society that refused to acknowledge it?
For me the problem lies in the fact that our society is built upon gender roles. Genders and gender identification are so closely built into out society that we can’t take them away. So therefore we have to try and build something else that includes everyone: respecting non-binary gender identities and decoupling traits and gender.
I don’t think we would still have gender identities if society refused to acknowledge it. That doesn’t mean people couldn’t still be uncomfortable with the sex they have been assigned, but I don’t think we would differentiate between genders the way we do now.
If you call me, or any other woman, “cis,” I will instantly know that you are a complete and total misogynist idiot who should never, ever be listened to.
You are cis.
How exactly is it misogyny to call a woman, who identifies with the gender she was designated at birth, “cis”? The two things have nothing to do with each other in this case.
everyone has said and done problematic things in their lifetime. that’s a result of the society we live in, not necessarily a reflection of their character.
what is a reflection of their character is how they react to being informed of the negativity within their behavior and statements, and whether or not they choose to change their behavior.
Sometimes I feel like nothing is good enough for tumblr. Disney portrays a strong female character. It’s not good enough because she’s white. Google does something for Elimination of Violence Against Women day. It’s not good enough because it’s not smacked in your face. You have to cherish the little victories, folks. The cup isn’t always half empty.
We must cherish the little victories, but it shouldn’t stop us from remaining critical of other aspects of those things. Even and especially with the things we enjoy.
This has been an ongoing accusation and I feel like it’s got a lot to do with people’s “Box”-thinking: you either like something or you don’t; you either think something is problematic, or you don’t.
But the thing is: you can do both! If you take a lot of interest in something and look into it a lot because e.g. you like it, you will most likely automatically find something problematic. Because humans aren’t perfect and these things are created by humans.
Okay so here’s something that I feel people never take into consideration when using this example- if the cup was full prior, and you poured out half of it, it is totally valid for it to be seen as half empty, and if prior the cup was empty, it would totally make sense that someone would view it as half full. So be aware that past experiences have an affect on how people view things and you telling them to “look on the bright side” is just another way of saying “conform to my mindset”.
You are wonderful.
I’ve been saying this forever and people just tell me to stop analyzing things too much -.-
For my fellow Asexual Whovians: I made you a thing.
In circular Gallifreyan it says “You are not broken. You are not alone.” I colored it in ace colors and want to give it to you all so you remember that there are others like you.
(Also relevant to problems of race, gender, etcetera.)
It’s important to surround yourself with partners who understand the construction and use of nests. It’s more important that they love you enough to hide from the world with you for a bit. (via Robot Hugs - Nest)
The best relationships I’ve been in were on their own terms, not what everyone else thought they should be. Sometimes that’s hard, but for me it’s always been worth it.